“Die with Dignity”

If you keep living, there will come a day when you will have to deal with dying. We don’t like to talk about it much, but death is a natural part of life. Many of us fear death. So we try and avoid it at all costs. When it happens to someone we love, we are usually unprepared. Because we have not given much thought to dying, it ends up being even more stressful because we have to process how we feel while making major decisions about handling what needs to be done.

Planning for death sounds morbid, but it is not. Instead it is a healthy way of thinking about living. The same dignity you have in life should be the same dignity you keep in death, maybe even better. Having a “good” death (Yes, its possible.) requires thinking about what you want and knowing what is available so your wishes are respected. Planning for death can be a celebration of living.

To change the way we think about death and dying, Health Watch decided to find out more about both. We wanted find out what scares us about dying and how to avoid this when it’s our time or somebody else’s that we love. We also wanted to know how to better cope when someone we love dies. To help us think about these issues we had Dr. David Tribble, chief medical officer for Alive Hospice on to talk about death, dying and grief. Not only did Dr. Tribble share factual information we all need to know, he shared his heart. It was a Health Watch show not to be missed.

We uncovered that most of us fear the same things about death – dying alone, dying in pain, what happens after death, and leaving others behind. Although death is not easy, there are some things we can do make the situation better. This is where hospice becomes so important. We found out that hospices operate separate facilities as well as offer services in hospitals, to help patients and love ones transition through the dying process. Dr. Tribble shared that as much as dying is a medical issue it is even more a spiritual and emotional one. Hospices are equipped to serve all of these needs.

We also learned that to have our wishes honored, we can create an advance directive, which is an umbrella term for documents created before a person becomes seriously ill. Advance directives include living wills, a document which says how you want to be cared for if you become terminally ill; medical power of attorney, a document which gives a person you name the right to make medical decisions for you if you cannot make them for yourself; and DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders, which tell the hospital whether or not you want to be resuscitated if your heart stops beating. The Tennessee Department of Health has even more information about advance directives at this link: http://health.state.tn.us/AdvanceDirectives/index.htm

These are documents you can prepare long before you ever might need them. Although they indicate your wishes about your care, as Dr. Tribble told us, if while receiving care you change your mind, then your advance directives can be changed. Advance directives are to give you, your loved ones and healthcare providers directions about how to best care for you.

During our conversation with Dr. Tribble we also talked about grief. Grief is an important part of healing, especially when someone you love passes. Dr. Tribble shared that we do not all grieve the same way. Our age, relationship to the person and other experiences will all affect the way we grieve. Although the hole left when someone dies can never be filled, through grieving we learn how to better cope with that hole. Again hospice centers, like Alive Hospice, can be particularly helpful. These centers have people trained to help those left behind dealing with loss. If you want to find out more about Alive Hospice and the services they offer, please check out this link: http://www.alivehospice.org/

Death and dying are not something we like to talk about, but they are something we need to discuss with our families. When we do, it makes both less scary for everyone. Health Watch will keep doing its part to make it a little easier. We encourage you to do yours. To live and die well, those are the markers of a life well spent! Until next time remember, “When we know better, we should do better. So pass it on!”