“On the Other Side of Grief”

Spring has almost sprung and its time to look forward to living. Yet, you feel like you are stuck. You lost a loved one recently, you lost your job, or you have experienced some other setback and it has taken the wind out of your sails. Your zest for living is gone. You remember how it used to be and the pain is not subsiding. Smack in the middle of grief, you wish there was a lifeline to pull you through. Well, last Thursday Health Watch threw out the lifeline by focusing our attention on grief. It was a Health Watch you would not have wanted to miss!

John Baker and Nicole Hilliard, grief counselors with Alive Hospice came to talk to Health Watch about grief. When it comes to grief there is more than meets the eye. Grief is as unique as the person experiencing it. How a person responds to grief reflects one’s background, how they learned to cope, as well as what kind of experience is causing the grief. Grief over the loss of a parent by an adult child will not be the same as the grief experienced by parents who lost a young child. Because what causes grief is not the same, dealing with our grief requires understanding it in context.

John and Nicole further shared why grieving is especially hard for some people. Death often triggers unresolved issues for those left to grieve. Whether it is anger, guilt, resentment, or abandonment, dealing with these feelings in an environment where you can express them honestly and without being judged are key to moving through the grieving process.

Grief is a process. It is not something that goes away automatically or quickly. Grieving takes time. Those were important take-aways from Thursday’s Health Watch. Grief comes with peaks and valleys, times when you will feel fairly normal and those when you might not. Grief can also manifest itself in many ways. For some concentration is thrown off, sleeping becomes difficult, or they cope by staying busy. For children grief is often reflected in play, especially acting out how they or others are feeling. Paying attention to one’s feelings is an important part of the process.

Grieving is not a process that has to be endured alone. When a person dies things are not the same. A new sense of normalcy has to be created. Nicole likened this to having a beautiful vase shatter. All that is left are broken pieces. Yet, from those broken pieces a stained glass window can be made. That is what life on the other side of grief looks like. Hope resides in picking up the pieces. This is also the point where individual and group grief recovery can become vitally important. Support can help those grieving pick up the pieces and put them back together.

If you are looking for support to help you or others grieve, then a resource like Alive Hospice may have the answers you need. The link below can connect you to what they offer: http://www.alivehospice.org/

Grieving is an experience best shared. Health Watch is a shoulder you can lean on for information and support. When you need us, we are here. So until next time, remember, “When we know better, we should do better. So pass it on!”

“Lean on Me”

Perhaps above all else, most of us value our independence. We like to come and go as we please, being as active as we can for as long as possible. However, life makes us have to depend on others. No person is an island unto themselves. Whether it is because of a severe accident, debilitating illness or other medical condition, being totally independent is not always possible.

When illness or severe accidents happen, whether for our selves or our loved ones, at some point the conversation turns to “long-term care.” When most people hear those words they think about nursing homes, seemingly dull, sad and depressing places where old people are warehoused until they die. These kinds of images make us shudder. They also make the prospect of growing older or needing care frightening. Yet, long-term care – what it means and the many options available – includes much more than nursing homes. It includes a variety of services that can make living independently possible once again and life enjoyable no matter what your age or physical condition. That’s why last Thursday’s Health Watch wanted to find out more about long-term care.

Joining us to talk to us about the “ends and outs” of long-term care and the variety of options available was Ms. Beverly Bass, a staff member with Bordeaux Long-Term Care. Ms. Bass shared with us that when it comes to long-term care, it truly is a whole new world. Driven in part by consumer demand (particularly aging Baby Boomers who are better educated and savvy consumers), people are demanding more options and better quality long-term care. Long-term care providers have heard these demands and are responding accordingly.

Did you know that it is possible to remain in your home and receive long-term care assistance? Personal care assistants are providers who come to your home and help with basic activities of daily living (i.e., assistance with bathing, getting dressed, and light housekeeping). These providers can also do assessments of your home and point out areas where minor improvements can make getting around your home more pleasant and safe. Along we these care providers, there are others who offer assistance going to the grocery store and running other errands. Medicaid, Medicare and other insurance providers cover many of these services. Most do not require a person to sell their assets (namely your home) in order to receive care. (That’s a relief!)

Ms. Bass also told us that for those needing more assistance many facilities, like Bordeaux Long-Term Care Facility, offers adult daycare, assisted living and residential care. These types of care often incorporate patient-centered philosophies, like the Eden Alternative, which focus on providing residents with community-like atmospheres. They also include amenities, such as: pets, plants, laughter, and fun activities. Instead of being places where residents look forward to dying, current options in long-term care focus on living to the fullest, no matter a person’s age, physical condition or care needs.

These care services not only help those needing care, they can also be a tremendous benefit to loved ones too by reducing the stress and burden that goes along with providing long-term care. If you missed Thursday’s Health Watch then you missed something important!

If you are considering long-term care, either for yourself or someone you love, then the links below might be just what you need to get you started.

http://www.medicare.gov/longTermCare/static/home.asp (Official Medicare site for long-term care concerns)

http://www.bordeauxltc.org/ (Bordeaux Long Term Care Facility. The facility also has counselors available to answer your questions.)

http://www.edenalt.org/about-the-eden-alternative (The Eden Alternative concept)

Long-term care is not something to be afraid of. Likewise, long-term care is not a one-size fits all approach to getting the care you need. The options available are as diverse as the people and families who receive long-term care. Most are only a phone call away.

Growing older or needing care is not something to dread. It might in fact be the start of truly living better. Therefore, Health Watch will continue to bring you the information you need to live life, no matter what your age or condition, to the fullest. Until next time remember, “When we know better, we should do better. So pass it on!”