“On the Other Side of Grief”

Spring has almost sprung and its time to look forward to living. Yet, you feel like you are stuck. You lost a loved one recently, you lost your job, or you have experienced some other setback and it has taken the wind out of your sails. Your zest for living is gone. You remember how it used to be and the pain is not subsiding. Smack in the middle of grief, you wish there was a lifeline to pull you through. Well, last Thursday Health Watch threw out the lifeline by focusing our attention on grief. It was a Health Watch you would not have wanted to miss!

John Baker and Nicole Hilliard, grief counselors with Alive Hospice came to talk to Health Watch about grief. When it comes to grief there is more than meets the eye. Grief is as unique as the person experiencing it. How a person responds to grief reflects one’s background, how they learned to cope, as well as what kind of experience is causing the grief. Grief over the loss of a parent by an adult child will not be the same as the grief experienced by parents who lost a young child. Because what causes grief is not the same, dealing with our grief requires understanding it in context.

John and Nicole further shared why grieving is especially hard for some people. Death often triggers unresolved issues for those left to grieve. Whether it is anger, guilt, resentment, or abandonment, dealing with these feelings in an environment where you can express them honestly and without being judged are key to moving through the grieving process.

Grief is a process. It is not something that goes away automatically or quickly. Grieving takes time. Those were important take-aways from Thursday’s Health Watch. Grief comes with peaks and valleys, times when you will feel fairly normal and those when you might not. Grief can also manifest itself in many ways. For some concentration is thrown off, sleeping becomes difficult, or they cope by staying busy. For children grief is often reflected in play, especially acting out how they or others are feeling. Paying attention to one’s feelings is an important part of the process.

Grieving is not a process that has to be endured alone. When a person dies things are not the same. A new sense of normalcy has to be created. Nicole likened this to having a beautiful vase shatter. All that is left are broken pieces. Yet, from those broken pieces a stained glass window can be made. That is what life on the other side of grief looks like. Hope resides in picking up the pieces. This is also the point where individual and group grief recovery can become vitally important. Support can help those grieving pick up the pieces and put them back together.

If you are looking for support to help you or others grieve, then a resource like Alive Hospice may have the answers you need. The link below can connect you to what they offer: http://www.alivehospice.org/

Grieving is an experience best shared. Health Watch is a shoulder you can lean on for information and support. When you need us, we are here. So until next time, remember, “When we know better, we should do better. So pass it on!”